sonora2sonoma

In Standish town in Lancashire,

whose roots go back to 1206,

my grandma’s grandpa took a wife

one fine and sunny day.

 

The year was 1836;

Autumn was but four days old.

None but Sarah had the charm

to take his breath away.

 

The young groom took up blacksmithing

to subsidize their growing needs,

his family grown to five by now

and all but squared away.

 

Then Thomas got acquainted with

an elder from the church one day

and baptized he soon came to be

as is the Mormon way.

 

But Thomas didn’t tell his wife

about his newly minted self

and Sarah’s ire was plain to see

when news came ’round her way.

 

She threw a fit, with curses vile.

Her friends, non Mormon, urged restraint,

lest she should come to eat her words

and join the church one day.

 

Sarah gave this little mind.

“If I’m ever such a fool,” she said,

“I hope to God I’m drowned instead.”

And that’s all she would say.

 

A short while hence, as fate would be,

with Bible truths explained to her,

The lass agreed that she should be

baptized without delay.

 

(possible refrain)

The creek was high on the chosen day

but the christening went on anyway;

Elder Pugmire had thought it safe

until the bank gave way.

 

In leapt Thom to save his wife;

he grasped her petticoat, held on tight.

The garment remained but she did not,

carried off by the waters that day.

 

Pugmire was rescued; Thom nearly drowned,

the waters were swifter than they had allowed.

Despite his best efforts, his wife slipped away;

not found ’til the following day.

 

An inquest was set to determine the reason

that Sarah’s immersion became her undoing.

Six weeks and three days Thom and Pugmire were held

awaiting their judgment day.

 

When the day of atonement finally came nigh

The tone of the hearing was set by the judge:

In cases where God’s law and mans’ overlap,

Religion, said he, should hold sway.

 

The judge said “baptism was part of Gods plan”

as are random events we may not understand.

Proceed with great caution, the jury was told

lest the Devil should come for his pay.

 

At that very moment, a thunderclap struck

that shook all in attendance right down to their cores

and removed any odds of a finding of guilt

that might have been lurking that day.

 

The men, thus acquitted, were allowed to go home

and admonished and scolded, exhorted and warned

to drown no one else in the course of their dunkings

forever and a day.

 

Not eight years later, in Liverpool

Thomas made Jane his second wife

and my grandmother’s grandma was set on the path

upon which I tread today!

 

I would be naught, had Sarah Yates lived

For Thom and Jane Allen would never have wed

And the children they bore would have never been born,

nor theirs, nor theirs ’til this day

And that would not be okay.

 

So say what you want about ors and if-onlys,

’bout possible outcomes, cheerful or grim

what could have been wasn’t, or else it would be so;

just ask those who lived in Pompeii.

 

Facts are elusive and fleeting at best

the angle of view can obscure or reveal

Did Sarah get religion or did it get her?

let the chips fall where they may . .

For my part, I just want to say

I’m happy to be here today!

 

 

3 May 2016

Tim Konrad