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Social media was abuzz last night amid speculation concerning the true intentions of the now-famous fly that rested atop the vice president’s head for over two minutes during the vice-presidential debate.

Rumors swirled in certain Republican circles this morning that the fly was sent by Biden’s people to spy on the trump team’s campaign plans. “People are saying,” said one unidentified source with intimate knowledge of White House proceedings, “the fly was fitted with AI technology that enabled it to scan the vice-president’s thoughts.” This belief was reportedly based on the idea that the mind of the vice president, unencumbered by thoughts of his own, might provide a perfect conduit to the president’s thought processes. Others scoffed at the notion that the president actually has thoughts, pointing to his preference for knee-jerk reactions. Still others postulated that the fly was sent by RBG as a final statement concerning the president’s pick to replace her on the Supreme Court, while a handful of interviewees, those whose pronouncements generally hew more closely to fact-based observations, were of the opinion the fly was merely fulfilling its biological imperative, as flies do, to identify and investigate the source of the malevolent odors it had detected.

The insect, clearly pleased at its newfound celebrity status, was circumspect when interviewed by journalist Alexandria Petri for the Washington Post, responding to questions, as had the vice-president during much of the debate, with little more than “Bzzzzz,” and “Bzzzzzzz.” Seemingly “relaxed and pensive, “Petri reported the fly “didn’t look a day over a day,” marveling that it had elected to devote so much of its relatively short life-span perched, un-enviously, atop Pence’s pate.

Perhaps it was the pull of popularity that drew the fly

Whatever its real intentions were, the fly wasn’t telling, offering nothing more than Bzzzzzz, Bzzzzz, and Bzzzzzzz!

Tim Konrad

October 8, 2020

Sent from my iPad