sonora2sonoma

One of the Reasons Not to Rent Out My House Any More

If renting out one’s childhood home

Were a sociological experiment,

Like a day job

Where one could go home after a day’s work

And not be personally affected

By what the tenants did,

It might be a worthwhile

Endeavor.

But, when one’s not the object under observation,

Nor the subject of an ongoing experiment,

But a player in an ongoing experiential drama

Examining faith misplaced and trust exploited,

The allure of extra money

Assumes a duller sheen.

So, when tenants crack the picture window

And break the toilet, the experience

Adversely affects  one’s trust

In the basic goodness

Of others.

And when renters decide

To transform a perfectly innocent

Pocket door,

With permanent marking pens,

Into a 12-month calendar

Denoting,

In several disharmonious shades,

The arraignments, parole hearings

And reminders of prison visits

Of the house’s various occupants,

The sobering clang of alarm bells

Should be heard clearly

Resounding off the rooftops.  

Had it not been for the familiarity

Of one of the tenants

With the finer points of eviction law,

Their final ouster,

Following the attic fire and subsequent red-tagging,

Would have been unquestionable, swift

And decisive.

At the eviction hearing,

Months later,

One of them, the sole evictee present,

Offered, seemingly oblivious

To the irony,

To clean up the mess she left

Provided I allow her

Another two weeks . .

What value has experience, I ask,

But to heed its call

And learn its lessons?

How often  

Does one find the tenant

Who cares for your house

As if it were theirs?

I guess I’m just not cut out

For this rental business after all!

One of the reasons

Not to rent out my house

Anymore.

Tim Konrad

June 10, 2021